Warrior Dash 2011 in Hocking Hills: The real race report, and 30 lessons learned

T-shirt and medal

I kind of skimped on the previous Warrior Dash race report, so here's the no-holds-barred, nitty-gritty detail-ridden, bare-all report!!!

See results and photos here!

Warrior Evelyn

Miss Evelyn H. arrived at my apartment at about 1 p.m. last Sunday and after a brief detour to Quiznos we started the southbound journey to Hocking Hills. We stopped at a Big Lots for duct tape, face paint and band-aids. No face paint, so we settled on magic markers.

Lesson #1: If you hurriedly walk into a Big Lots, approach the clerk and ask where you can find duct tape, face paint and band-aids, you will get looks.

Warrior Beth

I finally touched base with the always-adventurous Beth O., slowly recovering from a wedding the night before. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: "Beth!!"
Beth: "I am soooooo hungover"
Me: **Laughs hysterically** "That's no excuse, you ready??"
Beth: "He77 yea"
(Boring logistical talk)

Lesson #2: A hangover is never an excuse not to run. I set my 5K PR on Jan. 1.

Warrior Jessica

We approach Hocking Hills on a long and windy road and make a pit stop at Wendy's. Very clean people sought race advice from very dirty people celebrating their muddy victories with burgers and Frosties. The consensus: "Dude, that was awesome."

Lesson #3: If you don't like port-a-pottys, stop at Wendy's on your way in to pee.

The parking lot, two miles away from the actual event, was a madhouse. Mud tracks went in both directions. Some people were tailgating. I saw some clean people walking back to their cars. "If I come out that clean I'm going to be sorely disappointed", I say. "Don't worry, you won't!" a guy replies. Then I saw the solution to their cleanliness -- a long line of people waiting to be sprayed down by a hose. The parking lot was in a very open area and I saw several people stripping down and changing, chucking their muddy clothes in the trash.

Lesson #4: This should be obvious, but bring a change of clothes!

Muddy shoe pile

We boarded a bus to get to Kaeppner Woods. Walking in we saw a mound of muddy shoes. The event was going to clean them off and donate them to charity.

With 20,000 people participating throughout the weekend I was impressed by the organization. First we had to sign a waiver, the only thing I really remember on the form was "I will not dive headfirst into the mud", beyond that I just wrote "JAs" down the line and scribbled my name at the bottom. Then we got our packets which included a shoe chip, that doubled as our free beer token, a viking hat and a shirt. Evelyn paid extra money for these cool stickers that went under the eyes.

(More after the jump. Much more. Keep reading!!) 

Expo time!

I'll do my "I'm in Cleveland and it's the day before race day" post in a sec, but first I have some cool stuff to show off from the expo in Cleveland today! 

As an added bonus I met up at the expo with Carl and Deb, two online friends from the Daily Mile, always weird meeting people you know online in person for the first time, but that's just the new world order of things!

Here's my race number and shirt, I love how they have both mens and womens' shirts: 

If you didn't look closely enough, they know exactly what runners will want after the race: 

I probably didn't need to buy 4 Bondi Bands, but I did: (see my Facebook question if you would like to help me select which one to wear!)

They forgot to mail it to me, but I finally got my race belt for registering early.

After tomorrow, I will have earned the right to put the oval on my car. And I just like the keychain. 

I plan on following the 4:45 pacer for the first half. This is my wristband:

The swag was somewhat disappointing (and yes, that sample does in fact say "anti-monkey butt").

I sampled these energy bars and they were very yummy, so I bought a box.

13 hours...