Product review: Plain white socks

Sock enthusiasts, please forgive me for this post, but I must bring to light an area where we truly disagree. (Dad, you will be proud of me for this post.)

I fully support your addiction to high priced, fancy socks with labels promising anything from no blisters to extra cushioning to improved performance. I'm absolutely not opposed to bright colors or patterns. I own a couple pairs of special socks, given to me as gifts or an incentive to choose one shoe store over another.

Look, to prove my point, I even own a pair of fun compression sleeves! See!! Actually two pairs. The other pair is hot pink, no pattern.

(Mom, you will not be proud of me for this statement) I'm also no stranger to spending extra money on special products for runners. Body glide instead of Vasoline? Honey stingers instead of packets of honey stolen from a coffee shop? Fancy re-freezable ice packs instead of a pack of frozen peas? Yes please! While I like to tout my spend-thriftiness, fancy packaging, a mob mentality at Fleet Feet and Facebook ads often win out.

But zoom in and look at my feet in that photo. What do you see?

Plain white socks.

That's right. The one fad I refuse to fall into is specialty socks.

Google would prefer it if I indicated a brand, but I don't know, so... let's say Hanes. I bought several packs years ago at Wal-Mart or Target or one of those big box stores. They're the ankle length kind. They're not made of cotton.

I rarely get blisters, and have never ended up with any weird bruises, chafing or rashes. My feet have always maintained ten toenails.

When I changed socks during the pouring rain at the Highlander Cycle Tour, I felt no guilt chucking the wet ones in the trash, since they're not expensive.

The Corn Hill gremlin likes to sneak into my apartment and steal just one of a set of socks or shoes, later returning it by stashing it under my bed, in between my couch cushions, or in Lizzie's crate. When the gremlin attacks, it doesn't matter if one of a set is gone, because they're all white.

(Actually, some are varying shades or yellow or brown and some even have residual blood or grass stains on them but close enough, right?)

So, running friends, I'm with you on a lot of things, but I'm sticking to my plain white socks.

Unless the Scootadoot chicks want to pick me for their latest drawing. In that case I'll gladly take a pair of "left" and "not left". My values can always be challenged for free stuff.

(Your post may have been the inspiration for this one.)